August 16, 2012
The Best Cars for Picking up Girls – Getting from Point A to Point B
Picking up women – mankind’s perennial, interstate, worldwide mission since Grog picked his wife up and threw her out of a cave. Before we share our authoritative list of the five best cars to pick up chicks, we’ll explore the vague notion of “picking up” chicks in general, discuss what that means, and explain why awesome cars are the ultimate tool for the job.
About 800 years ago, Rumi said, “A thousand half-loves must be forsaken to take one whole heart home.” And that may be true, but what Rumi did not say was how to get those one thousand half-loves back to your place – which is, perhaps, the more important question to the contemporary red-blooded American male.
We’ll start answering this question by taking a scientific cue from Sir Isaac Newton, who probably understood picking up chicks as a spatial/gravitational issue no more complicated than the displacement of matter – move her from a public area (the church, square, or apothecary shop) to a more intimate setting (a coffee shop, movie, or bed).
In the end, we’re not sure how Mr. Newton got around (buggy ride anyone?) or how many half-loves Rumi plowed through to take his whole heart home, but we’re sure of one thing. If you want to increase the number of girls you pick up, a sweet ride won’t hurt your chances. But ay, there’s the rub; does the contemporary red-blooded American male have $200,000 dollars for a Ferrari? Does he wear scarves or play soccer? No.
That’s exactly why The Bachelor Shop is committed to getting you more bang for your buck with this list of the five best cars for picking up girls on a budget.
The Ford Mustang
An ancestor of the Spanish horses that conquered the Aztecs, the mustang was a free-roaming, sturdy, compact, and dependable animal that came to aid the American man in his march west. While the march has turned into a crawl (albeit for less noble pursuits) and the horse has turned into a car, the car shares at least three qualities with its namesake. And if you, in turn, want to appear sturdy and dependable, this is the ride for you. The Mustang is undeniably one of America’s most awesome cars.
The Chevy Corvette
With six generations under its belt, the Chevy Corvette is a classic, virile, American ride. Playing Nature to the Nurture of Mustang, the Vette’ has been on the loose since its inception in 1953. In this battle of the titans, the Corvette is unquestionably faster, harder to handle, and less reliable than the Mustang – all good things if you’re attempting to show off your wild side.
The Dodge Challenger
Chrysler’s “answer” to the aforementioned rides, the Dodge Challenger is a late-bloomer that nevertheless lives up to its name and remains one of the most awesome cars on the road. A quintessential 1970’s muscle car, the Challenger features a larger interior than the Mustang with a unique fold-down rear seat (duh!) that’s sure to make any lady feel right at home. Though the Challenger isn’t without it’s, well, challenges. Users have complained that newer models feature an uninspired interior comparable to a rental car. (Mustaches are to be avoided.) So, if your girl cares about inner-beauty as much as a rippling exterior, your fold-down seat may seem downright creepy. But, hey, Vin Diesel drove one.
The Chevy Camaro
If you’re into duality, you’ll love this ride. With a relaxed exterior that suggests friendship and an interior with ulterior motives, the Chevy Camaro is a true asshole. As Chevy’s “other” car, the Camaro was released for direct competition with the Mustang on June 21, 1966. At its unveiling, when baffled reporters asked the Chevy designers what the Camaro was, the designers responded, “A small vicious animal that eats Mustangs.” Needless to say, pulling up in this imitation will drive girls, who are into the jealous, possessive type, absolutely nuts.
You’ve got money.